Monday, February 20, 2017

Stoners Swap Set of Selections for Set of Scorers From Same Squad

The first big deal of the Stoners' latest era is in! The 5th and 6th round draft choices for this years Bigtime Soccer League Draft have been sent to Cumberland AC in exchange for two dynamic USMNT midfielders, Darlington Nagbe & Sacha Klejstan! Look at those winning smiles!! Wow!!!





The Boys Are Back In Town

After nonstop clamor from the ardent fanbase over the last 2 years, the until-recently dormant Pennsylvania Stoners are set to make their triumphant return to the Bigtime Soccer League. The Partnership were overwhelmed by calls to bring back the Big Blue & Yellow. It's time to GET STONED™!

Mike & Javi are proud to announce they have acquired the services of a potent pair of players to head the frontline. Please put your hands together for your Original New (Again) Stoners Dom Dwyer & Cyle Larin! No word yet on whether the Stoners plan to exclusively field players from non-US English-speaking countries. Stay tuned for more moves!



Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Week 20 Lineup

Starting XI
Joe Bendik

Robbie Keane (Captain)
Rob Friend
Vincent Noguiera
Nick LaBrocca
Will Bruin
Kalif Alhassan
Jermain Defoe
Erick Torres
Luis Silva
DeAndre Yedlin

Bench
Alex
Kellyn Acosta
Chance Myers


Reserves
Julio Cesar

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Week 19 Lineup

Starting XI
Joe Bendik

Robbie Keane (Captain)
Rob Friend
Vincent Noguiera
Nick LaBrocca
Will Bruin
Kalif Alhassan
Jermain Defoe
Erick Torres
Luis Silva
DeAndre Yedlin

Bench
Alex
Kellyn Acosta
Chance Myers


Reserves
Julio Cesar

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Fans Furious Over Recent Results

Following three weeks without a lineup and a late lineup this week, Stoners fans are biting their tongues no more.

"The FO is taking a shit on us," said James Van Der Beek of Bucks County. "I feel like I'm in an R. Kelly video and not one of his music videos."

"Enough is enough. The Partnership has to take accountability for their actions," echoed Chris Brown, a longtime season ticket holder.

"I'd rather watch the ESPYs than watch the Stoners at this point," said LeBron James, NBA great and President of the Stoner Temple Pilots fan group.

"I haven't been paid in a while," wrote the author of this article, "and I don't even want to finish writ

Week 18 Lineup

Starting XI
Joe Bendik

Robbie Keane (Captain)
Rob Friend
Chance Myers
Vincent Noguiera
Nick LaBrocca
Will Bruin
Kalif Alhassan
Jermain Defoe
Erick Torres
Luis Silva

Bench
Alex
Kellyn Acosta
DeAndre Yedlin


Reserves
Julio Cesar

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Week 14 Lineup

Starting XI
Joe Bendik

Robbie Keane (Captain)
Rob Friend
Chance Myers
Vincent Noguiera
Nick LaBrocca
Will Bruin
Kalif Alhassan
Jermain Defoe
Erick Torres
Luis Silva

Bench
Alex
Kellyn Acosta
DeAndre Yedlin


Reserves
Julio Cesar